H’oCK’eY Sssssssstarssssss
With the World Juniors going hot and heavy this reporter feels it’s never too early to talk about The 2011 NHL Entry Draft. The 49th edition of the event will be held at the Tuburr Centre on Olympus Mons, Mars in June. This year’s number one prospect happens to be a Martian local boy! Azaxyr Jr. is young, gifted and focused… he is also the son of the infamous Federation Leader attached to the Peladon expedition. As number one goaltender for the famed Jane Street Ice Lords. Azaxyr is a self-admitted through and through “Greenie”. Axman (as he’s known to his friends) says: “I’ve alwayssssss been a fan of the Greeniesssss, and to be able to play for my hometown hassssss been a dream come true”.
When asked if the upcoming NHL draft weighs heavily on his mind he waxed poetically about sport and life. “Hockey and icccccce are eternal. Asssss eternal assssss the revenge I will have on you puny humanssssss and avenge the vile and cowardacccccce murder of my father by the hated Peladoniansssss…THE ICCCCCE WILL RETURN!, THE ICCCCCE WILL RETURN!!, THE ICCCCCE WILL…. um…erg… ahem…by that I mean I’ll give my team 110%, leave everything out there, work hard, give it my all, play my game, focus, and…er… God Blesssssssss America???...”.
NHL Commissioner, and Auton, Gary Bettman was not available for comment.
Report Filed by Rod
for DWBlog Sports
GO CANADA
Posted by Rod on Monday, January 3 at 11:06 pm
5 Comments...
I’m not surprised Bettman was unavailable for comment, he’s a flipping puppet for the owners! Only last week he was spotted with the GM of the Nestene Plasticons (who is also the CEO of Mattel and is in negotiations to expand into the Martian market)! One wonders if there is any connection here to rumours of a new kind of “plastic ice” being floated for the league. And isn’t it interesting that Azaxyr Sr. is now head of the Federation’s Corporate Affairs Division…
Posted by Scott on 01/04 at 02:22 PM
LOL! You rock
Posted by eve11 on 01/04 at 10:24 PM
The plastic ice is the greatest non-secret in the known universes. Surprisingly the Svartos Blades under the steady hand of their head coach Kane have been practicing on the stuff since March of last year! On the flip side everything else in the arena, including the arena itself, is made of real ice. I personally don’t think it’s anything to worry about. The introduction of new goalie pads and gear based on the design worn by Stewart and Hardy on the cargo ship C982 *IS* something to worry about. http://sharetv.org/images/guide/183620.jpg I mean…sure it’s stylish and cool…and all the rage on the Draconian sub-continent this winter. But what of tradition? What of history? What of time pieces with more than 4 increments of measure? Maybe I’m just an old fogy… kids these days…
Posted by Rod on 01/05 at 07:46 AM
You make some good points. I just wonder if viewers at home will accept the slower action as the players deal with the heightened resistance against the plastic. I suspect it will lead to more off-sides and fighting will sky-rocket amongst the Galaxy 5 teams. And God help us if players start hiding anti-plastic under their pads…
Posted by Scott on 01/05 at 01:21 PM
I thought Bettman was a Cyberman—‘Assimilate!’ Either way, I just hope the Master is successful in bringing a team to Hamilton. Go Canada!
Posted by Jimmy on 01/05 at 03:22 PM
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